Nomadic State of mind

1000 Things to do before I die... work in progress

2011-03-03T16:08:00.001+09:00

I have recently been asking a lot of questions of myself about where life will take me. I have begun compiling a list in my head of things I would like to do. Some of which, were goals in the past and I have already achieved for myself. I needed a place to keep this list- I will add to the list and stories as my life moves forward.

1. live in a foreign country
2. visit a Buddhist temple and engage in meditative practices with monks/nuns.
3. complete my yoga teacher certification
4. study yoga in India in an ashram
5. visit the Angkor Wat in Cambodia
6. travel on the trans Mongolian
7. give as much love as i can to the people around me
8. be happy- and find the happiness in each passing moment of each passing day
9. drive across canada alone, or with someone special
10. hitch-hike further than the next city
11. learn to play the guitar better, and write a (good) song
12. live in the yukon for a period of time
13. have something published
14. sky dive someplace magical
15. bungee jump in africa
16. go on a missions trip of some kind
17. get married
18. Go to Bali
19. Pass on the knowledge of all that literature has done for my life... and can do for theirs.
20. learn ballet
21. be graceful and mindful throughout my life.
22. fall madly and deeply in love
23. own a house with a big yard not in suburbia
24. learn to sew my own clothes
26. fall completely in love with my work
27. achieve something that i have been dreaming of
28. visit egypt
29. write ... write... write...
30. keep in contact with all of the people who have passed through/become such a great part of my life
31. learn to bake all the delicious goodies from my Oma.
32. write my grandfathers memoir.

On being foreign...part 1

2010-08-28T03:57:00.000+09:00

In the land of the morning calm, tucked away in the far reaches of the countries smallest towns hidden in the valleys, to the largest cities rising up from the mountainous landscape like a lego village you will find pockets of people who have come to this land from a different place. Sometimes they stick out like a sore thumb, their double eyelids causing quite a stir and their pale skin eliciting laughter and pointing from many a youngster. And as they pass by these pale faced beings a whisper can be heard with their wide eyes of wonder "Waygookin." which means "foreigner."
I find it amusing to think of myself as a foreigner. As someone who doesn't belong, and seemingly never will. I wonder what this can do to your psyche, constantly being called a foreigner until you identify yourself with this.

Identity changes depending on where you are. It makes you take a different point of view in your life. In any given place you could have several different identities, though usually one is the most prominent. It is a strange concept to identify yourself as ‘foreign.’ What does it exactly mean? The OED defines foreign as ‘strange and unfamiliar’ coming from the latin foras, or fortis which literally means ‘outside.’ So being classified as foreign automatically places the stigma of a strange being, something from outside, that you don’t necessarily want inside, an alien. How does having this stigma placed on someone, and never removed, affect the way a person identifies themselves.

I can classify myself as something different depending on where I am. When I am with my niece I am a loving aunt, with my brother I am a sister, and my mother I am a daughter. when I am at school I am a student, a writer, a researcher and an idealist.

When we are called foreign again and again, as we are in Korea, we come to identify ourselves as such, foreigners, and end up calling ourselves the word. This word, for me, has developed somewhat of a negative mean. It has become a dirty word in a sense.

It is only recently that Korea has begun to welcome and embrace different cultures. They prided themselves on being ‘pure’ and un inhabited by these outsiders.. these foreigners. But with a recent influx of military and teaching staff to their country they have had to adapt this attitude.

One of my friends who lives in Korea recently told me that they find being foreign in this county a “strange, horrific and wonderful experience” all rolled into one. She continued to point out that on one hand you get the experience of bringing yourself into a place that hasn’t dealt with you which is awesome, because you get to give them the positive impression you hope to create about these outsiders infiltrating the streets, but on the other hand, its difficult on your psyche to constantly be treated as an outsider, and often ignored, shooed away or blatantly yelled at because your background is different. I suppose coming from a non Asian country where most people have various backgrounds, and we are still of the generation where this is common, that it never would occur to us to identify someone as ‘not the same’ just because they look different. After all, aren’t we all just human beings?

A little taste of home...

2010-06-22T19:53:00.001+09:00

It's no secret that I love food. My expanding waistband is proof of that.
Food food food, in all shapes and sizes (as long as it doesn't contain meat). I love eating it, looking at it, tasting it, smelling it. i just really love food.

I have found over the past few months that my body has been craving the strangest types of food. But nothing more than comfort food. Here I plan to explore a few of my favourites...

There is something about a large pot of chili that just makes you feel so cozy and at home... A big boiling bowl of some extra spicy veggie chilli topped with fresh shredded cheese and a side of Salty Nacho chips. nothing says home like that.
along with this goes tacos. delicious tacos that take you back to when you were a kid. In my house, tacos were always somewhat of a treat, and were usually consumed on a special occasion (or it felt like a special occasion) like a birthday or something. It was a great feeling being able to custom make your own meal and fill your taco shell with as many, or as few delicious things as you wanted.

Rollkuchen and Watermelon... my most favourite summer treat. For those of you who weren't fortunate enough to grow up in a Mennonite household with lots of delicious homemade baked goods and fried breads i will enlighten you on this amazing food. Its basically... fried dough.. a fritter if you will. but when made properly (my mum makes the best ones i have EVER tasted.... no joke... its not just me) you end up with a deliciously light flaky fried good that when you bite off the top, the inside is hollow. This doesn't happen with every one, in my family we call these pieces "puffers." and if you happen to find one that is puffed from top to bottom, you had bet you will be fighting for it. its here the watermelon comes in. Sliced into perfectly long, medium sized pieces you can place the watermelon INSIDE the baked dough.. that's right, INSIDE. once the Rollkuchen is stuffed with sweet red watermelon its time to indulge. Once you take your first bite you will be hooked. The sweet, cold watery flavor of the watermelon mixed with the salty, dry taste of the Rollkuchen is pure ecstasy! I seriously reccomend it.

There are other people who make it different and roll it in the middle.But this isnt the way to go for me, you don't have the opportunity to get a 'puffer' and stuff the watermelon inside. The best part is that if you dont finish all your Rollkucken in one meal, they make a great treat for a few days to come with some more watermelon or spread with you choice of fruit jam!! oh my, there is nothing left to be desired with this delicious summer treat!

I wasnt always a fan of avocados, but in the past number of years they became a staple in my diet. full of healthy fats, and delicious flavour, this vegetable is so versitile it can be used with, on, accompanied by anything! My two... or three favourites though, have to be a tomato, cheese and avocado sandwich, with just a little bit of hummus .. or mayo if you prefer. Its the most delicious sandwich that you could ever eat! I'm picky about my tomatoes so they have to be sliced thin; add your favourite cheese and some nice thick slices of avocado and you have got yourself one killer sandwich! The next would have to be avocado Sushi. there is something to be said about the mixture of rice, seaweed, and avocado, top that with some wasabi and soya sauce and prepare your mouth for a flavour explosion. and the final avocado treat, that we all know and love guacamole! affectionally called guac, this staple can be used for a spread or a dip. You can make it many different ways to accomodate your preference towards garlic, onions, tomatoes, sweet, spicy, salty. I prefer a basic approach with no frills, garlic, salt, pepper and lemon juice, with some baked naan. yum! Avocados are so versitile that they simply scream home!

Lastly, the good old fashioned breakfast. Bacon (none for me thanks), Eggs, Toast, hasbrowns and orange juice perhaps a tomato (or avacado slice) if you are so inclined. This brings you back to the days of sunday afternoons when the family would get together to sit around the tube and listen to the sound of the eggs crackling and the smell of delicious butter in the frying pan. It always seemed so still in those moments, like nothing could distrub the peace... as time passed this breakfast became a staple 'greasy' meal, something simply necessary after a night out drinking. But, it always remains the same... something that you can look forward to of being familiar and homey. Making you feel better simply by its existence.

These foods are all so tastey and homey feeling that if you are ever feeling homesick or in want of something familiar, each one will bring you just that much closer :)

Students... kids!

2010-05-14T15:01:00.002+09:00

Elementary level students are adorable and horrible at the same time. Any native teacher in Korea (or possibly the world) will agree with me. When you look at them, their little rosy cheeks and angelic smiles almost fool you into believing that they aren't tiny devils in disguise... almost... ;)

This morning walking to school I was thinking about the day ahead and dreading the horrible after school classes that always take SOOO much energy and patience out of me. when I happened upon a kid... who is in said after school class... and probably the worst one at that.He was riding his little pink plastic Winnie the Pooh scooter to school. It seems he had seen me walking behind him, and had slowed down in intervals so I could catch up. When i got near to him he stopped and smiled back at me, waving his hand furiously, his little eyes shining sweetly. Since we don't have much ability to communicate with each other he pointed to me, and then the scooter, motioning me to take the handlebars (which are at about waist level). i started laughing at how hilarious this situation would be.... i thought. why not? grabbed the scooter and scooted a few feet ahead... the kid running right behind me laughing and shouting WOOO HOOO!! this was seriously the best start to the day I have ever had. I stopped a few meters down the road and gave him his scooter back. he took it with a huge smile and rode slowly beside me the rest of the way to school. he stopped when we came to an intersection and didn't go until i said it was okay... so cute! we parted ways when we got close to school and he went to show off his scooter to his friends and let them have a whirl.

however, this afternoon was a completely different story. said child comes rampaging into my classroom, screaming his head off... and throwing things all over the place, hitting the other kids and tackling them to the ground (this is a common Korean child pastime I have found- nothing to be too worried about) I sighed and thought about the great one-on-one morning experience i had with this little one... how did his bright shining eyes turn so red all of a sudden? and where did those horns come from? I certainly didn't see them there before. The class continued and he never seemed to settle down. causing disturbances and not listening to a work i or anyone else said. I tried to hold on to that feeling i got this morning, but it was slowly fading away into the abyss of my memory.

After the class ended and I plopped down in my chair, completely exhausted, the same student came over to me and held out his hand. in it was a tiny chocolate, and said to me "happy teacher? for you" I smiled and melted back into his cute little face. as i took the partially unwrapped chocolate from his hands he smiled at me and walked calmly away...

Its these moments that we must remember when we are looking for the patience to get through the hard times... like every Friday afternoon for me.and they are little angels.. just young and all they want to do is have fun, instead they are stuck in a classroom 6 days a week, 8+ hours a day reading/writing/and arithmetic! TGIF

side note... as i was editing this post- a little grade 1 student (about 5 years old) just came in and gave me a pen with a little handmade flower on top of it..... i suppose its for teachers day tomorrow..he is literally one of the students i talk about when I say they are soo cute! his mother has given him a perm, highlights and he wears the most fashionable clothes... haha. anyways, what a great way to end my Friday.

#78 Why Korea Sucks: It doesnt....

2010-05-12T16:42:00.001+09:00

So when i think about leaving Korea I am filled with a total sense of joy and happiness. going back to my familiar town, living near to my family and friends; these ideas fill me with happiness and a desire to leave as soon as possible. But then i think about the things that ill miss when I am gone, and how being in Korea isn't really that bad at all, and that thought is kind of scary. I am immersed in a completely different culture, and i have allowed myself to get swept away into some of the more beautiful habits that this country holds.

first: Food- A lot of foreigners complain about the food here in Korea, and wish it to be more like American food. Usually the complaints are about the fish based meals; I can understand if you don't have an affinity for fish how this would cause a problem. But living in Korea, I expected to eat Korean food, not western food. Now, I know I sometimes crave familiar foods- but its just that... I crave something familiar, and food just seems to be the easiest thing to rag on- it wont talk back.

It seems to me that a lot of people have dissociated themselves with that fact and just completely given up on even trying to accept and eat Korean food, and thus adapt to the place that they are living. They are trying to create their old world in this new place they have landed. This is a perfectly natural thing to do, to an extent. It feels to me that when we choose to live in a foreign country that we must take the good and the bad, and rather than simply refusing to try something; give it a try, you never know what will happen. In accordance with food.. think of all of the things you loved when you were a child- i can guarantee your palate has changed quite a bit since then; just as it can change with you acclimatise your palate to these new flavors- it might not like it at first- but after a while your taste-buds will settle in, and you can enjoy a truly authentic experience.

"Korean food is delicious and nutritious." We hear it all the time from our co teachers and friends; but have we ever taken the time to stop and listen? To wonder how this could possibly be? Most of the food here is fresh! so fresh in fact that sometimes its still moving on your plate. I know its not always the most appetizing thing to think of eating every part of an animal (including the bladder, blood, feet brains and tounge) but every part that they eat has a 'reason' behind it. there is a nutrient found in these foods that helps you maintain health. Im sure not ALL of these statements made are true.. but some of them must be; and I cant see why they wouldn't. I am served fresh fruits and veggies at every lunch hour, and a soup that couldn't possibly come from a package or a bag (like most soups would back home in our school caf's)

I am a veggie, so i don't have to deal with a lot of the gross meat related food here, which may make me an hypocritical observer. But I find that there is such a backlash against the food in Korea from the foreigners that it begins to bother me. I almost WANT to try these foods to see what all the fuss and muss is about. Every day I am served a large plateful of fresh veggies (usually in some strange sauce of sorts) and often i find myself thinking about why they prepare these dishes in the way that they do. I look over to my co workers trays and notice huge hunks of meat and fish baked to perfection, bones still in. I look at their shiny hair and great complexions and seemingly healthy disposition and can begin to understand where it might come from. Its not very often you see an obese Korean... whereas in America the obesity rates have risen to such a high level that the centers for disease control estimate that at least "110,000 people die per year due to obesity and 1/3 of all cancer deaths are directly related to it."

"Former Surgeon General Richard Carmona remarked that obesity is a more pressing issue than terrorism, 'Obesity is a terror within. It's destroying our society from within and unless we do something about it, the magnitude of the dilemma will dwarf 9/11 or any other terrorist event that you can point out...'" (killeratlarge.com) [those interested in learning more about this epidemic can go here obesity in America]
I know this is an entirely different issue here but it is a pressing one. and one that i think about when i am deciding whether i want to eat the north American option or the Korean one. I feel that Korean people are more aware of what they are putting into their bodies (a mass generalization i know) and i want to be too.

The food is healthy here and i will surely miss it... (even when I'm eating my delicious poutine... haha)

brings me to my next topic.

Price: The cost of going out to eat here is EXPONENTIALLY less than at home (provided you are going for the non-American option of the yummy Korean food). Tell me a place in North America where you can get a bowl full of veggies and rice, a healthy and filling meal, with all the soup you could ask for, and several side dishes including kimchi, beans, radish, green garlic etc etc. and perhaps even a bowl of hot spicy soup with tofu for under 5$... I dare you to tell me where this exists in America. It simply doesn't! the cheap options include ... fast food, fast food, and more fast food. To go out and get a salad outside of the home costs about the same as it would for 3 people to eat out in Korea. This is something my wallet and I will dearly miss when we depart.

These are some superficial things ill miss about Korea. within these ideas there are a few other things about the culture that come to mind that will be a happy memory to look back at. the fact that everything is "healthy." the funny little sayings that even the most inexperienced English speakers can say. Ill keep thinking of things as time goes on... but hey, I've still got another year left ;)

Tweet, Tweet, BAM!!

2010-04-28T12:07:00.001+09:00

On a recent visit to a friends house here in Korea I met a foreigner who caused me to think a lot about Twitter, and what the implications are of people who 'tweet' are. I have never understood this phenomenon and really couldn't get why people would do it. A few of my friends seem to occasionally indulge but no one could tell me why. I even started my own account to try and figure it out; but found myself with more important things to do then share what I was doing at that moment with the world. So this particular weekend, as we sat drinking our delicious 9,000 won wine from the grocery store, and chatting about life here and there, politics, religion, happiness, travel, meditation, health and everything else you could think of I became a bit more enlightened. Every once in a while the conversation was interrupted by a comment that just didn't flow with the type of nonchalant open air conversation we were having. When we would get to talking about something, sharing our experiences, the newcomer would butt in with "YEAH, well, my last post on twitter...." and finish with something that was somehow related to our topic but not really. He would then continue to regail us with all of his different extraneous 'tweets' that he posted in response to comments made by other people. Each time he would finish he would smile a self-important smile to himself as though he had just made the most profound statment known to man. It was then I realised what twitter is...

Twitter is for people who think that their every thought is so important, that people actually really care.

I mean... do I really care where you are every single moment of every single day? do i need to see a picture of your brother eating a ham sandwich in front of you, or the dairy you are about to purchase? or every 5 mi nutes after you finish another drink/dance/drive etc... Is it really necessary to share every innane thought that goes through your tiny head? You are a group of people who spend more time twittering about your life than actually living it...

Now I know im saying these things in a blog, which is a public domain in and of itself. But, I don't find myself saying to people "oh man, you should have SEEN what I wrote on my blog the other day... it was like, so sweet" like, no. I write for myself, not for others, if no one reads it. I dont really care. I blog so that I can vent frustrations and share thoughts and ideas with whoever cares to read. Im not putting out random tidbits of information,and sharing them with people in conversations as though they are profound and important thoughts. If someone reads what I have wrote and wants to have a conversation regarding the topic im all for it.

But twitter. my goodness, what a waste of time. So people, if you feel like twittering, go for it- just leave your self important speech out of daily talk for fear of looking like a total moronic, asinine, self righteous imbecile to those of us who don't really care about your tweet.
tweet, BAM!

Higher Learning

2010-04-16T16:06:00.003+09:00

It's Friday, and every Friday is greeted with a very big TGIF! This Friday in particular is a welcome one. This week has been full of ups and downs.

The sun has come out a few times, and I have allowed myself to travel down memory lane as I take my 35 minute walk to and from school each day. For a semester in University a friend and i dedicated our lives to seeing as many Sam Roberts shows as humanly possible. - I think in the end the count for me was 12 in two months? total tally now is about 30... (loser. haha)- anyways, i dusted off the old MP3 that hasn't been played for a while and found comfort in his lyrics, and happiness in the memories that came along with each word that he said. On one particularly horrible afternoon, I walked away from the school with a heavy heart and dawdled my feet in the dusty playground gravel towards the gate of the school. As I approached the gate I stopped to lean on the brick block and grab my iPod from my pocket, and watched as the other teachers zoomed past me in their cars; splashing the remnants of the leftover rain onto my coat. As I started my journey home I brightened up as Sam began crooning in my ears. Within moments I was smiling and enjoying the beauty around me. But there was something different, something in the way his words hit me this day brought a completely different meaning to me: "mass appeal with a solitude spin." Now having been obsessed with this first album, I have listened to it many times- but never did this particular lyric hit me as hard as it did this day. this is EXACTLY what its like to be an expat in Korea- especially if you live in a small town. But also if you live in a city- I live in a small town so im going to talk about it from this viewpoint a bit more implicitly- but im sure it could effect everyone equally.

Lets look at the first part "mass appeal..."
When you enter your school for the first time, the children treat you as a celebrity. or so I've heard.... this wasn't the case for me in the beginning- i found my students were bored, and even frightened of me. Most of them bowing in respect to me as I walked down the hallway to lunch but generally cowering out of my way. This has recently changed for me- my students now all high-five me, chase me down the street after school, follow me into stores and buy me chocolates. It's all really nice, and it makes me smile. One of the charms of living in a small town is that the ONLY children i see- are the ones that i teach- and since i teach all of the grades at all of the schools- ALL of them know me. Its a pretty interesting feeling; and sometimes I find myself smiling the whole way home when this happens. I stand out to them as someone they admire- simply because I come from another country- its this standing out that creates the confusion between the two worlds...
The other type of appeal comes from the very basic idea that when you move to korea you will be adopting a new culture, a new life, and making pretty good money while doing it. The appeal to come to Korea, in the beginning was just that; a place to make money to pay off my loans- and have a cultural experience, all in the while living abroad. Which lets face it, a lot of people would like to do, and i have heard it countless times- the idea of living abroad is so fantastic, you would have a hard time finding someone who doesn't enjoy at least the thought of doing it.

on the other hand "... with a solitude spin" is really where the largest amount of emphasis can be placed.
Being in a foreign country, away from your family, and loved ones and immersed in a completely different culture can be really difficult. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining- I'm the one who choose to come to Korea- and I really enjoy getting to know different cultures, meet new people and travel- its my passion. But being an expat makes you stand out- and this, as they say, can be really lonely. I don't like the compare myself to that of a celebrity- but here you go. You know how they say "its lonely at the top" I now totally, and completely understand this. I am surrounded by people wanting to talk to me, wanting to look at me, and say hello- but at the end of the day- I go home to an empty apartment and wonder- "where have all the good people gone." (ha-sorry another Sam Roberts tune) As I continue my time here as an expat I am constantly considering this, and how it effects the lives of myself and others.

Right now, I am unable to communicate on a deeper level than basic necessity to anyone around me. There is no deeper meaning behind our communication but what we must say to get by. I will fade in and out of their lives as a fond memory- much like Sam Roberts himself will be one day for me- a good story: "remember when we saw that foreign girl..." Indulging in small talk so that they can get their fill of the celebrity; "the solitude spin." I recently had a brief chat about the importance of deep conversation in a persons life (ironic I know)- and how this related to happiness- as opposed to brief encounters. The study showed that on average people who engage in deep conversation more often than simple small talk, generally had a better disposition and were less apt to be depressed than those who rarely to never had deep conversations.

When all you get are brief encounters, things can begin to get a little slippery, but when we allow ourselves to see the beauty of this and relish in its importance in our lives, I can begin to understand just a little bit more- how we can change the feelings of loneliness into feelings of solitude and peace. For happiness is not something that finds you, its the consequence of a great personal effort.

"time is a slippery fish... but we will rise like a phoenix from the ashes"

This is my good side

2010-04-01T16:26:00.000+09:00

first i have to say, this is something based on personal observation and is in no way directed towards ALL of Korean people. only towards a part of its culture that i strive to understand.

In Korea I have been subject to a lot of things that are different and strange because of the change in culture. The biggest one that i have encountered that becomes more and more evident to me as time passes is this idea of saving face. This means that you must always put your best face forward. Well on the outside this seems like a great idea, always show the best part of you, it extended into the whole being of Korea. the very essence of Korean culture is riddled with this idea of never showing anything that may display a weakness or an ounce of thought beyond what is told to you.

This phenomenon does not only occur in a business setting also on a social and romantic level. Korean people are trained to think that they must never show a weak side. If you display any kind of mental instability you are considered an outcast. As a woman if you express to your feelings of concern about your life or any problems you may have towards your mate, you would be considered weak minded and would be chided against. There are very rare cases of anyone going to see a therapist for stress related illnesses, and most times these people do it in secret; in order to save face. I cannot understand this thinking.

So, what we get is a society who are all afraid of each other. And no one is more to fear than the one that is higher in position, age or business status than you. Although I feel a certain amount of respect is due; and I find it cute when the young boys don't even think twice to help an old lady cross a street, or find their seat on the train when they cant see the ticket themselves; its the entitlement to this respect that gets me. If you see an ajjuma (an older grandmother- usually stooped over wearing some type of crazy mismatched outfit) coming towards you, you sure as hell better get out of the way or you may end up with an elbow in the face, or laying flat on the ground. No one would dare to stop her from cutting in the line you've been waiting in for 25 minutes, because that would simply be rude. But... i guess my western mind thinks, "how is someone cutting in line just because they feel entitled not rude?" The other day I was waiting to buy a train ticket, and the wait was rather long. In front of me was a middle aged woman who actually worked at one of the many stores in the station. behind me was a woman who was a bit older than her, a grandmother in her own right, and ajjuma. Now the closer we got to the front, the closer then woman behind me got to having her face in my butt (note: the aforementioned bend over-ness of ajjumas) and i was not relenting. Although this may make me a rude ignorant westerner, i just could not see what would be positive about keeping in how i feel about this particular situation. The woman in front of me, clearly sensing what was happening, gave me a small smile and a twinkle in her eye re-enforced the idea, to me, that I WAS ENTITLED to my spot in line. When the woman left to go get her ticket i felt the ajjuma slowly creeping up behind me even closer. I knew as soon as the next ticket agent was ready she would make a dash past me for it. I wondered to myself why she was actually doing this, and if i could possibly be overreacting. Was she doing this to me because i was a westerner? she surely didn't try to get in front of any of the other waiting Native people? or was it because she is older than me, and thus, in the Korean world, could do whatever she wants and no one would say a word? or was it simply because she had to get somewhere in a hurry?
When the next ticket agent became available i walked in that direction only to be almost herded down by this woman to beat me to the spot. I looked at the ticket agent in shock and he looked back at me with a slightly apolgetic look, but served the ajjuma before me.

This seemingly small encounter with a woman like this, happens almost every single time I exit my little hole in the wall apt. and is not an unknown phenomena amongst foreigners and natives alike. ( we were warned this would happen, by a Korean man, at our orientation at the beginning of our stay) But where does this entitlement come from?? and how has it been festered and nurtured. Koreans are scared. They are scared of EVERYTHING that might make them feel anything but placid. When they begin to feel as though they themselves do not like something, or they are overjoyed with something, or they are being treated unfairly etc etc... they feel as though this is wrong. its wrong to feel because then you aren't putting the best face forward. and we must show to the world our best face. It seems to me that Korea feels as though they need to prove they are the best. that their pop stars are the most beautiful, that their men are strong and handsome, that they do NOT cry, that their women are tough nurtures, that they do not have STD's and that all of their husbands are neverendingly loyal. It's as though if they want to feel, they must lock themselves in a room. All of my co-teachers are constantly telling me how much stress they have, but they also say they must never show it. I think they feel comfortable telling me because i speak English, and would never reveal their secret to the other Korean co-workers. I have met at least 4 people who have had family members or close friends commit suicide. Its no wonder the suicide rate in korea is almost as high as the birth rate (haha, joke... at the expense of the birth rate in korea- which is the lowest in the world). I also met a young boy the other day who is in my school who apparently tried to shove himself off. he came to me with bandages all over his arm and showed me the cuts he had made. This really worries me, considering the child is in Grade 4. Its quite sad that someone so young would consider something so drastic, and that its such a normal thing for koreans to hear about, that its no longer shocking to them.

So it seems to me, that after years of saving face, and hiding what you want, and what you think, that these ajjumas have finally had enough, and THEY become the ones that the others must fear, they are the ones with the entitlement, and, hell, if i had waited 50 years to be able to say something when i feel it, id be taking it for all it was worth too.

The I guess the idea of saving face is that you must never show weakness. I was told last week that there is a young girl in my school who has left to go to the hospital. my first thought was that something physical had happened to her. It was then explained to me that during the last period in class, the girl began to cry. You see, the girl has been brought up by her 85 year old grandmother. she is just 14 years old. Now, i don't know about you, but if you think of the overbearing screaming woman i described earlier bringing up a little girl; the girl might have some problems. The teacher explained to me that the grandmother never allowed the girl to speak when she was in the home. And that she had frequently tried to tell this to her friends, but they soon weren't her friends anymore, because this is simply not something that is discussed. i was told "you do not talk about your family or your feelings with anyone." Hmmm... a young 14 year old girl living with an 87 year old woman, and she isn't allowed to talk. I have taught this young girl for almost a year now, and have always noticed her. always alone, soft spoken, kind of tiny and raggedy looking and very smart. I was told she would be entering a 'brain hospital' where she would be examined for the next couple of months. all because she started to cry in class!!! DID ANYONE THINK TO ASK HER WHAT WAS WONG?! I do not know the answer to this, but i was simply shocked by the idea of a young 14 year old girl with hormones a- raging would be sent away for crying.to a mental hospital at that! Now this isn't to say i know everything about this girl, only the information provided to me, but i think the girl simply needed someone to talk to. someone to show that they give a damn about what she thinks, feels, and wants out of her life. Why must everything be so regimented.

I have no end to this rant as it is an ongoing battle i have within myself and the korean culture. I try to understand it from their point of view, and i try to not feel this sense of entitlement myself... but i just don't like getting pushed around.

hello again

2010-04-01T16:25:00.000+09:00

so i have failed as of late to update this blog, and for this i am sorry. i suppose it has been for the lack of adventure in my life these days. The students were on vacation, which meant that i came to sit in my desk everyday and do absolutely nothing. this lasted for about a month and then we had one week of classes and then graduation ceremonies for each grade moving up to the next. the semester ended and the kids went on spring break before the start of a new year. Classes have begun again, but things are still a little buit slow.
I do what to write a post about my trip to the Philippines. I have done a few new things since then though.

Dan and I made the adventure to Seoul and the DMZ. The DMZ is the Demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea where people can go on sanctioned tours on this side accompanied by ROK guards (korean soldiers) and US Army soldiers. It was a really amazing experience. We were able to go to the JSA (Joint Service Area) where we actually stepped into North Korea. Pretty amazing stuff. What struck me the most about being able to experience this was the way that the ROK guards and American guards portrayed theN. Korean guards. They explain to us their childish behavior. In order for us to step into North korea, we were brought into the Joint Meeting room. this is a room where the North and South can come to meet peacefully and have talks regarding whatever issue is on the table. Both the North and South do tours to the JSA. When the North Korean guards are in the room they apparently re-arrange all the furniture and take off their shoes and walk on the tables barefoot, one footprint is even etched into the table for some reason or another. they told us that the north korean guards will make negative hand signals at them, giving them the finger and making slashing motions at their throats. There was even an incidence where there was a photograph taken where one guard was seen blowing his nose with the American flag and another was shining his shoe with the Korean flag. They no longer keep large silk flags in the room for this reason, instead all of the countries who support the end of the communist regime in N. Korea, and come to the talks have their flags under glass in the Meeting room. We then went to several different places. the bridge of no return, which is a bridge between north and south korea where the POW were traded back after the war. they had a choice where they wanted to go. but there would be no changing their mind, thus the name. we were brought to an area where we could view the propaganda city in North Korea as well. where we saw the giant flagpole and fake city that they created in order to look as though they are a prosperous nation. Again, its all about face.
I have found the idea of face in korea to become exceedingly more evident the longer i am here. The idea of this is, that you put your best face forward. Which in and of itself isnt such a bad idea. but when you take it to the level of not saying something you feel, or allowing things to happen to you unjustly or unfairly that will cause you stress in the long run it just seems wrong!- for further insight on this see my next post!
The DMZ was a really eye opening experience for me, and one that i wont forget. I would really like to visit North Korea one day and see the DMZ from their side. It seems so sad the suffering that they endure, and the fact that they remain ignorant to it is the hardest part for me to bear.

Dan and i also had the opportunity to go to the Cheongdo bullfights! (he lives in Cheongdo so it was kind of perfect) it was a really exciting event... uhhh... kind of. we had a lot of fun, but after seeing one or two bulls smash their heads into eachother it was enough and we went out into one of the tents to have some food and sample the dongdong-ju (rice wine) that was being offered by the local patrons. It was all in all a lovely day. Its the biggest bullfight in Korea apparently, where all the national competitors come together to fight. a lot of the bulls had robes on and 'championship belts' over their backs. haha this made me think of being a kid and watching the WWF and suddenly the bulls took on a whole new persona. each one had its own name and character. Most of the people at the fight were a bit older, it seems the art is lost on the younger Korean generation, but they were defiantly full of vigor as each new competitor stepped into the ring. There were a ton of booths set up outside as well where you could sample the local food and fare. You could make pottery, bow and arrows, get your face painted or ride a mechanical bull... i tried it, but the machine was broken so i just sat on top of the bull for a photo-op. We ended the night at Dan's school owners restaurant where the boys enjoyed outdoor korean BBQ and we got to play with an outdoor golden retriever mix. he was muddy and cute.. just like my puppy back in Canada.

update

2010-01-05T10:44:00.007+09:00

So, its been a while since i have posted. i have about 4 posts started that i will have to finish this week. and post. perhaps ill amalgamate them into one, since they mostly deal with the idea of the holiday season.
I have been faced with a few challenges over the past couple of weeks. getting through the holidays without my family and friends was probably the hardest thing i have had to do in a while.However, i did have a very memorable and wonderful Christmas.
I have now entered into the 'extra classes' phase of the year. This is the time of year when students are 'off school' for the month of January. This however does not mean that they do not come to school or continue with their lessons. No, in fact it seems as though the students have a more rigorous schedule; moving from place to place starting at 9am and finishing god knows when! I suppose its to prepare them for the level up they are about to embark on (in march). But classes are on. students are able to sign up for classes specific to what they would like to improve on. Every week there are different classes, and some are for 3-4 hours per day. I find it absolutly amazing that these children are in school rather than enjoying their time off, as many north americans would be doing. Its great but at the same time, there are a lot of reasons why continual school isn't the best thing.
I have been struggling with the childrens inability to imagine things since i arrived. i have attempted to challenge them to 'create.' to make something of their own that may be new and original. Yet, time after time, this fails. they are strictly regimented and without rigid structure are completly lost. They have no idea where to go. In a recent class i had set up a project for the students to 'create their own superhero.' I thought they might enjoy this; seeing as how these types of charachters are often popular. I explained to them what a superhero was, and how, for our case, they didn't necessarily have to be a masked character. Twilight, a popular phenomenon world round, can see Edward and Jacob as hero's for our case. I then challenged them to come up with a name and a special trait that their hero had. This took 45 minutes.Their creativity and ability to think 'outside the box' is simply not there. It seems to be stripped away at a young age. They are forced into these molds and unable to escape from them for fear of standing out.

So for two weeks i teach two classes, each is two hours long. its not too bad. the first is the 3rd grade middle school. they have yet to show up for class, there are only 5 studnets signed up for classes. but they just haven't shown up. fine with me, only i spent a whole week coming up with a lesson plan for them. oh well...

Christmas Cheer 09

2009-12-28T17:57:00.003+09:00

So, as expected this Christmas was a very different and emotionally challenging one for me. Its hard to experience something in a country where it doesn't exist. In Korea, Christmas really doesn't exist. even though out of the 54.5% of Koreans that declare religious affiliation, 29.3% of them are Christians. (the only thing coming close is Buddhism at 22.8% the other 2.4% are various alternative religions ). The way that Koreans celebrate Christmas seems to be the way that they do everything in this country, including getting married... most of it is for show. They have the trees and a few lights up on the main streets, some signs in the large department stores and the kids yelling "oh santa" when they see an image of good old st. nick. But the meaning of christmas is completely lost. the idea of getting together with family and/or loved ones is not something that they see as a necessity at this time of year. That is the thing im missing most this year. Its very challenging for me to be away from my family, in this place that doesn't feel, look or act like a holiday is coming up. Again, its a Confucius country, so i was aware that these things wouldn't be as prevalent as they were at home, but even the feeling you get. the warmth in your heart, the smile you get as you hear christmas carolers or see children running in the snow laughing... its just not as accessible here. luckily i have great family and friends and i was bombarded thoughtful, loving notes, cards and gifts to help me get through, even though i ' actually able to be there to squeeze everyone with love...

I had the privilege of attending a wedding on Christmas day in Busan. I did not know the couple getting married, but the idea of getting married Christmas day seemed a romantic notion to me and i was more than willing to witness a Korean wedding (which i had heard about. a lot of 'for show' production) and i was not disappointed. It seemed as though the man and woman had barely met. they walked stiffly down the isle, and then back up it and down it a third, and fourth time.. each time the photographer following them; hoping to get the perfect photograph. The whole room was packed with people. people standing, sitting, walking around, talking laughing, eating.... no one seemed to be paying any attention at all. Coming from a western world, where at a wedding we sit and watch the bride and groom say their vows and dedicate themselves to each other i found this quite strange. Where we see marriage as a thing of beauty, that is found in love, and commitment, it seems that often times in korea marriage is something out of necessity. Im not saying this is all bad. it is part of their culture, and in some cases love can be found with each other after the necessity is met; or through the necessity. The brides dress was beautiful, even though she looked like she was scared half to death of the stranger standing beside her at the alter. They then proceeded to take pictures with different groups of people. the male teachers students came up and sang him a song, laughing the whole way through, which i thought was really cute. The inclusion of ones students in a teachers wedding is very common in korea, and most would take offense if their class did not attend.
In any case, it was a wonderful day. we ended off the afternoon with a lovely trip down to the fish yard (sounds romantic doesn't it) haha. but at the fish market on the first floor you can buy fish and on the second floor you can eat it, fresh. they have chefs that buy the fish right there and cut it up for sashimi for you!! so great! it was the most delicious meal ever and a WONDERFUL christmas dinner!!

But why....

2009-12-08T15:22:00.001+09:00

So, i have been trying to keep this blog lighthearted and kind. however, i think the time has come when we need to lay out some truths about Korea. i have had enough inconsiderate mindless people ruining my day, and this is the time to air those grievances.

i have been given an amazing opportunity by coming here. i am truly blessed to be able to have experienced a different culture first hand not once, but three times in my life. These are invaluable experiences that i will cherish forever, and i am sure some of the people i meet here will be with me forever. i know my time spent in Holland changed the way that i did some things and am able to still keep those some important ideals and habits that i learned while i was there.
however, there doesn't seem to be many ideals or behaviors that i would want or need to pick up from Koreans.
this past week i was victim to one of their many self serving behaviors that really don't compute to the average person. I have a hard time fitting in in my elementary school. its not for lack of trying. the teachers just dont seem to enjoy being around me. yes they are polite and will ask what my plans are for the weekend. the gr 6 teacher even smiles and waves at me when i enter the school. i thought i had made some headway when she started to try to speak a little english to me and ask me how she can get better so we can talk. however, all of this was dashed last week Friday. it was a regular day, no one pays attention to the white girl sitting in the English room. the room was getting a little stuffy and the sun was shining so i stood up to go and stand by the window that i had opened a crack and get some sunshine on my face. Much to my surprise i see the gr 6 class (that i was supposed to be teaching at that moment, but failed to show up) and all of the teachers standing outside getting their pictures taken. since its yearbook/graduation time i figured thats what it was for. I have to admit i was a bit surprised when i saw this, b.c. all of the teachers were involved, yet... no one had bothered to come and get me. am i not a teacher? do i not belong? so i walked downstairs only slightly bothered by this notion to get a coffee. as i passed by the door all of the teachers had lined up in front of it. one of the teachers turned around and offered a friendly "hi bryn" to me. i waved at her. it was then that another teacher turned around and said "teacher photo for yearbook, go away" i stood there astonished for a moment. unsure if i should run away crying or lunge at the throat of said teacher. then all of them turned around and looked at me and shooed me away on me saying "you are in way" i retired to my room, completely forgetting about the coffee and allowed myself to give into the sorrow of this situation.
It was s ad dark day for me and one i wont forget. how could they be so thoughtless? do they not realize that i am in a foreign country here, and if they were in my country i feel certain that i would do my best to include them in things even to the point of being annoying, not try to ignore them and make them feel unwanted. i wonder if they realize what its like being from somewhere else in this horrid little town; away from the people i know, away from my family, my friends... and i may need a little bit of kindness... everyday i struggle with this thought.
so. that being said. things here aren't always peachy, in fact sometimes they down right suck. but when you look at life, its not going to be the negative things to remember, it will be the positive experiences you gain from these emotional breakdowns. the positive people that enter your life and bring a huge change. I am excited everyday as well. excited for the new adventure that this country will bring me. and how the things that are happening now are really minute in the journey towards my superlative goals!
So i will continue to tolerate this behavior, if not trying to teach them a more considerate way of living. sometimes i observe these people and understand the differences and sometimes its more difficult. today was one of these days....

Holiday Consumers

2009-11-27T10:55:00.001+09:00

as the holidays encroach upon us i am stunned by the difference in commercial marketing that is present within the western world and Asia. i know that the holiday is not as present here as it is at home, or present at least in a different way. Although the large department stores still have a tree greeting you at the front door, and lights are strung along the doorways, there seems to be no apparent change in the way that things are displayed or marketed as they would be in Canada. This could be because it is common practice in stores for sales associates to come up to you as soon as you enter their department and follow you around until you leave, pulling things out of the rack and hovering over you. This is a deterrent for me, and one of the reasons i avoid shopping in Canada during the holidays. This practice seems foolish, it pushes the customers away, well at least it pushes me away! But then as i look around at all of the other busy shoppers, most of whom have a sales associate pinned to their side, carrying their loot, it seems as though they are not bothered by this. Which, makes sense, as it is the norm here. It then dawns on me that perhaps they think it impolite to be left on your own when you enter a store. Koreans are helpful people by nature, especially to foreigners (always a ready chance to practice their minimal English). As i look around i also wonder if this is why the Christmas decorations and marketing is present, but not so in your face. Christmas is typically a western holiday, adopted into many different cultures as a holiday during the year celebrated by Christians as the birth of Jesus. In Korea we are awarded one day off for this holiday December 25th.Although i am not surprised by this i do have concerns on how this holiday will be spent. However im sure it will be wonderful. It is a time to be spent with the people you love and cherish and gives us a little push to appreciate the things that these people do for us in our daily lives. I know that this year i will be missing my family and friends and thinking about them, as i often do, being so far away.

So, this year i will not have to battle the crowds in the mall, i will not have to put up with crazy holiday consumers in the games store and i will not have the mass marketed Christmas shoved down my throat. its a refreshing change, but i can only imagine what the already packed shopping centers with swarms of already careless pushing screaming Koreans will turn into when Christmas does come closer. i might just stay out of the way...haha

Failure and re building

2009-11-11T15:21:00.001+09:00

I had decided to take the challenge of writing a novel in the month of November, this is however, proving more of a difficulty than i had anticipated. Although i love to write, i simply am.. and have always been... a procrastinator... if you knew me during my early student years (and sometimes the later ones) you knew that i would do literally ANYTHING not to study, or write a paper... seriously. one time i found myself cleaning grease out of the microwave vent... i mean anything. although these things are good to get done, and usually a 'no one wants to do it' kind of job... its not at all something that should be done when there is work at hand. having something with a goal to reach each day with a final product for the end hasn't been on the top of my list.
However, i have regrouped and have today begun to write fervently. My characters are beginning to take a shape and it actually feels good.
Last week was a really transitional time for me and i think that this may have contributed to my lack of enthusiasm for a craft of which i am very fond of.

sometimes i long for the comfort of the library cubicles, the ease at which i can acquire a large cup of coffee and the hum of the florescent lights above my head... wait, i have that here... but you get the picture... haha. I've quickly learnt that the common experiences which we share with other native teachers are the things on which we should focus. although everyone says "oh its for the experience," i often wonder, is it really? could i not have an experience living my student life, is this not experience? perhaps a more mundane and less exotic sounding one, but nevertheless ...

being removed from the things that make us comfortable because they are within our realm of routine makes us readjust and find parts of ourselves that we may have never explored.. this is the kind of experience i suppose 'they' speak of. but then we find a new routine, a new way to critique the things around us, although non familial, the shared experiences with 'comfortable' people allow this to occur...

Temple Stay- Golgusa Temple

2009-11-04T12:05:00.127+09:00

So, i went on a temple stay with my friend Dan. it was one of the most exhilarating, infuriating, tiring, contemplative and energizing experiences i have ever had. It was a great experience for me. It also kind of made me see a bit deeper into the daily lives of monks. Although we may think of monks as non descript males, off in the wilderness sweeping dirt floors and making rock statues, that was hardly the case. Im not sure if it was simply the temple we were in, but because it is a smaller one, i doubted it. I suppose as all things have been, their religion seems to have become a bit jaded by the introduction of technology. My first connection with one of the monks was actually through email. I don't mean to say that they are not bathed in ceremony and dedication to themselves and their faith; but the shining images of old time monks that rang through my head was changed, just slightly. But first ill talk about my experience there...

the journey there was not as perilous as i imagined, yet it was quite the journey, two trains two buses and an hour walk later we finally arrived. the last leg of the walk was an uphill battle, quite literally. we had to walk for about 45-an hour up hill to the top of the temple, nice little walk. when we got there we were sweaty and out of breath and immediately offered water by one of the fine women checking us in. she told us our sleeping quarters were half way back down the hill and we were expected to be at dinner in 45 minutes back up at the top. we opted to carry our bags until after dinner and go check out the stone carved Buddha and the caves the temple is known for. the temple is called Golgusa temple, which literally means stone carved Buddha (or so we were told) . the hike up there was pretty interesting, the steps are all made of stone, and since its carved into the side of a mountain face, there isnt much room to walk. they have put railings and ropes for you to guide your way along the rock face without facing certain death. so dinner was a fairly standard korean meal- only is vegetarian, which i was VERY thankful for! prison trays, rice, two kinds of veggies and soup. we were told before the meal that we must finish everything that we take because, obviously, we are not to be wasteful or gluttonous. after dinner we had an hour of free time to get ready for the evening meditation and sunmodo training.

Now, part of the reason we chose this temple was because of the sunmodo training. Dan is a martial artist and does taekwondo so we wanted to give it a try when we heard about them teaching martial arts as part of the practice. Sunmodo is about balance. balance of the whole body including within; your breathing, heart rate, muscles and nerves must all be in balance in order to practice this. when we started the training i could see why. First we had an hour meditation and chanting. this was to cleanse our mind and body from the days work and strengthen our minds to be in tune with the body. thankfully one of the monks spoke English and was able to guide us through the mediation without much problem. Then we started the sunmodo, which involved a lot of high kicking and balance poses. The monk instructing us was impressed by my kick and told me "good job" when we did the split stretching exercise (thanks to dance training for this!! haha) but the jumping bit i was less than great. you are supposed to be in complete control and come down and not move, and not have a change in breath... not so much... haha. afterward we got to have a rest and watch a demonstration. they were having a master test the following week and needed to practice, which was lucky for us! these guys were amazing! one of them seemed as though he had no bones! so many contortions and high jumping. amazing!

then it was time for bed. lights out is 10:00 and we were plenty thankful for it. our wake up call was to be at 4am. some of the girls and i chatted for a little bit before we went to bed. There were 4 others in the dorm style rooms (which also means you sleep on the floor). they were all teachers and 3/4 came from busan.
We awoke at 4am to the sound of the moktak, a wooden instrument played by monks every morning.. its a hollowed out wooden bell hit for meditation and to remind us to keep our lives open. at 4am that really the last thing i was thinking. but... we had until 430 to get to the meditation temple and be seated on our mats. we then had 35 minutes of chanting and 20 minutes of sitting meditation where we were quiet... i found it much more difficult to keep my mind quiet at this time of the day than i supposed would happen. But i eventually got there and was then able to be still, be quiet. The witnessing of the opening of the day is a Buddhist monk tradition. you must be thankful for each day that is brought to you, each moment. I allowed myself to shut off for a little while, and in that time, was able to hear and see things that i never thought i knew before. after this we were slowly lead up to the top of the hill in a walking meditation. we were to keep 5 paces behind the person in front of us. This wasn't quite so pleasant, but the slow pace made the steep climb a bit less strenuous. We arrived at the dining shelter moments before our breakfast demonstration was to start. The monk leading us invited us to do some morning stretches as the sun rose into the sky and the other monks emerged from their meditative states and joined us in stretching out bodies to fit our minds.

Then we had a traditional Buddhist breakfast, they do this ceremony every Sunday, so im sure if i do go to another temple stay i will be experiencing it again. The point of it is to be mindful. mindful of what we do and what we eat. We are supposed to think about how the food came to be on our plates (a lot of it is grown on the property and harvested by the monks- they know the labor of their own food) we are given a large bowl with three bowls inside of it and three pieces of cloth; one containing wooden chopsticks and a spoon. we are to place the bowls beside our right knee and take the first cloth and place it on the floor, this is our place mat. the place the bowls on the left corner of the mat remove the lid with the other two coths on it and put it back infront of your right knee. you have to use your thumbs only, and place them inside the bowls removing them one by one from inside the larger bowl and placing them clockwise on the mat so that you now have four differnt sized bowls. then take the chopsticks and spoon out and place then in the bowl on the top right corner. this is the 'clean water bowl.' then the jr monks come around and give us our clean water in our rice bowl (the largest of the four) we rince out all the bowls pouring the water into each bowl and ending by pouring them over the chopsticks and spoon and leaving the water there. The food is then served to us. The jr monks come around and give us each a scoop of rice. because this meal is less about eating and more about being mindful; the rice is literally the size of a small meatball. then we are given a scoop of soup in another bown and a tray with tofu, kimchi and spinach is passed around for you to take on your own. you take one piece of kimichi and rinse it off on your soup and place the clean piece beside in your rice bowl *do not eat* you then eat your meal. this is done QUICKLY. when the head monk slaps his stick you must be done everything (do not waste) and ready to start the cleanup. the jr monks then come around and pour hot water into your now empty (except for the clean piece of kimchi) bowl. you use the kimchi and your chopsticks to wash out the bowl and then pour it into the next bowl and so on until you have one bowl with your clean water and one with your dirty water. then you have to drink the water and eat the kimchi. at first, i thought this was kind of gross, but its actually just everything you just ate, with a little bit more water. so.. i drank the warm water and ate the sour kimchi. then you take your clean water and pour it into the first (noe supposedly clean) bowl. this water needs to remain clean at all times. if you did a good job on cleaning your bowls it will. and if it does then the monks come and take your water and pour it into a bucket for later use. Mine wasn't so clean, i could see a layer or something sitting on the top and i was made to drink the water. then you take the third cloth and wipe everything dry. put the bowls back together, fold the napkins and you are finally done.

If it seems like a lot of work for a meal, it really is. haha. and its only 7am at this point mind you. so we went back for a little nap after it was done, my tummy still grumbling but my mind and heart full.
after the break we had a ceremonial tea which was great! i loved it so much. the monk that poured our tea invited us to ask any questions we wanted of him. many people asked rather silly questions like "is there competition amoung religions" like, seriously. are you living under a rock. there is war based upon religion, even within certain religions there is competition. the monk answered in the way only a monk could. "i live within the walls of this temple and we keep to ourselves" it was awesome. (the guy had been getting on my nerves all weekend) after that we decided to take a walk around and head home, we were invited to stay for lunch a few hours later if we wanted, but decided against it since it would mean i wouldn't get back into my town until around 10 that night. and i was already exhausted. thus began the journey home, a much different one than the journey to the temple even though the same road was taken...

here is a look at the album of photos for your viewing pleasure

Changnyeong/PIFF

2009-11-04T09:58:00.018+09:00

So its been a while since ive updated and quite a few things have happened, first ill start with a field trip i took to Changnyeong province, i had to write a little write up about it, and since i haven't updated in a while im going to steal what i wrote from there... sorry haha.

The wetlands that we visited were beautiful, and showed a different side of the mountainous rural are and i would have enjoyed a little bit more time to walk around this area and explore. The park was really interesting as was the delicious meal. . I really appreciated and enjoyed the bibimbap that was provided to me (as a vegetarian I couldn’t stomach the barbecue)

When we left the interior of the museum and ventured outside to the sites where the nobles were buried the artifacts became a little clearer but still not very relevant. Hearing about the ancient gravesites and how they were shrouded and buried in large graves as respect was really interesting and really gave some history and culture background about the area and the prevalence of these people and the traditions they hold. It was really interesting to be able to walk amoung the mounds and get meaning from them. Before they could have just been large mounds on the side of a hill that I could have mistakenly climbed for a better view of the city. I now feel more informed of the historical nature of this site
If you want to see pictures you can view them here: Changnyeong field trip this might help to explain a little bit more of what we saw there!

after the field trip i went to the film festival for the weekend (which was actually with one work day in between) the (P)Busan International Film Festival (PIFF) is an international festival held every year. its one of the biggest film fests in all of the world. it was absolutly amazing! i had a fanstastic time walking along the beach. The famous beach there is Haeundae beach. the weather wasnt too hot, but i still had the opporutunity to stick my toes in the sand and feet in the water! it was so nice! the ocean views were fantastic. I spent most of the time in Busan alone. Which was fine with me. i got to walk along the beach and enjoy the sights and meet some people. There were celebraties everywhere that weekend, as many of the films were premiering for the first time ever at the film festival. most of them were korean, and i didnt know who they were, but a few were American, including Josh Hartnett! which the koreans LOVE. i love him also and had a breif brush with him. even though i didnt know it at the time.hahah. i was walking towards the end of the stands set up on haeundae beach, each of these displaying small parts of the film festival, from photographers, to big film set ups, to 'make your own movie' tents to sponser companies to autograph signing booths to places displaying traditional korean dishes to show some more korean culture. At the end was a stage and there were hundreds of screaming girls, as i approached a man in a black suit came and sort of pushed me out of the way to allow someone to walk by, i simply thought it was another korean celebrity that i wouldnt recognise; but lo and behold.. there was josh harnett, mere inches from my fingertips...
i realized this too late and was washed up among the throngs of screaming hyperventilating girls... here is a picture just moments after his departure i believe that one of them is crying. hahaha. anyways, it was really interesting.

After this i headed down the boardwalk past the madness of PIFF to see if i could make it out onto the pier before my film at 6pm. as i was walking i happened upon some buskers... "buskers??" i thought "in korea, how strange." i found this strange because as i researched for an article i wrote about busking last year i found that not many countries outside of western world have busking. its popular in the US canada and some places in Europe, but rarely outside of it. I quickly grabbed my camera and snapped a picture of them as they set up. I tried to do so sneakily, but was caught red handed and called over to have a chat with the musicians. there were three of them, two Korean's from Seoul and one American... from.... well he didn't really know. anyways, they chatted with me while they set up and the American man told me he was "bringing music to the streets of Korea, one festival at a time!" I thought this was a fantastic idea. I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon with them. i played a bit of guitar, sang, played hand drum and some other percussion instruments they had on hand. we played until the sun set and the people were headed inside for dinner... after the american man left to meet some people i frolicked in the ocean with the koreans who were busking. I cant remember their names, and sadly i didnt get their phone number bu i had an awesome evening with them and hope that one day the world with bring us together again... :)
after that i headed back to meet my friend Amy and we went to see Three sisters, a french film about a family who is estranged from their father and the things they go through as sisters with him coming by and their mother still being in love with him, but him being dangerous for the family. it was a great film! we watched it in the outdoor theatre so i was wearing every single article of clothing i had, but it was really neat to see a film with over a 1000 people; including a talk by the director beforehand.

Random thoughts of the afternoon...

2009-10-07T12:02:00.002+09:00

i really want to make pumpkin bread and macaroni and cheese...

just thought i would share..

also..

November is National Novel Writing Month- so i have signed up for this challenge and will need as much support as i can get, its going to be hard!!! (mostly for me to stay focused for 4 hours + per night.

This is the official statement of what its all about: (you can find more info here)

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.

So this should be quite the exercise in prolixity and writing endurance for me. It will also give me something to look forward to each night, and something to accomplish by months end. i really hope i can do it. As they rules say, you aren't supposed to edit or anything. just write quick prose that will hopefully in the end bear some sort of thematic plot line. im trying to draw up an idea before the month begins..i have a few ideas... but im not sure if there is enough material for a 50,000 word novel. we will see... its about 200 pages. im going to try and get chapter ideas out before the beginning of the month. yikes! prelim work! haha. okay that is all for the second post of the day.

Chuncheon- Chuseok weekend!!!

2009-10-07T10:51:00.004+09:00

So this weekend was a holiday here in Korea. Its a holiday akin to our thanksgiving, only instead of turkey they have bulgogi and syomepeon. which is some kind of beef dish and pink/green/white rice cakes filled with sweet honey and sesame paste. The traditions that go along with this holiday are not unlike our own thanksgiving traditions. They gather to gather for one day as a family. some even traveling across the country. Most people travel south, rather than north. This tradition comes from the ceremony that they have to thank and remember their ancestors. As most of them are buried in the south amoung the many mountains, the roads leading south during this time are packed with card filled to the brim with Koreans and pounds and pounds of kimichi for the dinner they are about to enjoy.

Now thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays of the year. i love the feeling of gathering just to have a meal together with your famile, and enjoy each others company, under no other pre-tense than that.. i miss the sunset jeep rides out into the vineyards, the laughter that ensues as we run along the vines to gather the sweet pinkened grapes; our bellies still busting from the delicious meal. The coolness that takes the air at this time of year and makes us wrap our arms around each other or snuggle in a nice warm flannel blanket.. this is something i am truely going to miss out here....

The idea of celebrating their ancestors also requires them to go and do the yearly maintenance of the graves. This may seem a little bit strange to only do once a year, but because there isn't much space in Korea, people are generally buried deep within the mountains and it is a little bit of a journey to get there. This task falls to the eldest son of the family. (the desire to have a son in your family really runs deep. i met a family with 4 girls.. the mother told me how much they wanted a boy; she was very pregnant, but she really thought it would be another girl- this is also not a traditional practice in korea- usually one or two children is the maximum; and this is mostly because schooling is VERY expensive.) I have been told that the maintenance usually takes about a day and is done at least a week in advance of Cheusok. This involves clipping, mowing, and gardening duties. I cant imagine how this would occur on a mountain side, but sure enough as i traveled in the bus towards the north, away from all the crazy traffic, there were little bald spots littering the mountain range.

So as i mentioned i headed north the Chuncheon to visit my friend Rose from University. It was an amazing weekend filled with fun and laughter and relaxation. I arrived on Friday morning after a long morning of travel. My bus left at 7am from Daegu. I had spent the night at my friends house, but was required to be there 30 minutes early. since i had NO idea where the bus station was, i left his house around 5am. i arrived at the subway stop where i was told to go, and headed out to find the bus station. as i left the terminal i was surrounded by about 4 or 5 buildings with large express buses parked in the lots. so.. i just picked one with people in it and went in. she informed me the one i was looking for was across the street. so i cross the street, to be informed that i need to go around the corner, where i am then informed i need to walk about 5 minutes up the road. At 5am, walking around the city carrying my belongings for 4 days, is not the most enjoyable experience, but i was just happy i had found friendly, minimal English speaking Koreans to help me! (the benefit of being in a larger city) So i arrived at my destination and sat down amoung the throngs of people escaping to the south for the holiday.

The bus ride was, uneventful except that i was frozen most of the time and so i curled in a ball, wrapped my scarf around my head and went to sleep for most of the ride. i felt very Korean. its both strange and impressive how quickly they fall asleep. every time i get on a bus they are all sitting there with closed eyes immediately. So when i arrived in Chuncheon we spent the day chatting and shopping, we went for Vietnamese food which was fantastic, and walked around the underground mall. We went to a place called VIPS for dinner to celebrate her friend Shinee's birthday! It was a surprise for her, which i was a part of... we had to use me to get her to the resturant haha.. VIPS is a western buffet and where gorged myself on guacamole, melted cheese and smoked salmon and capers... oh man... i was craving that for sooo long! then we went to a place called Sherrifs and played darts and talked, danced and laughed late into the evening.

The next day we went to this place called everland. Its a HUGE amusement park with one of the largest wooden roller coasters in the world its called the /T-Express... it was intense. so intense that i couldn't even scream, i tried to.. but nothing came out, i had lost my breath... some serious adrenaline after that ride caused us to run around the park for another couple of hours and ride the gut busting head splitting amusement park rides that you typically find.. only sometimes you felt like you were going to die... we headed up in the ferris wheel to see if we could catch an overhead glimpse of the park. it was a pretty nice ride, but the shaky pod we were in caused for a little bit of anxiety near to the top. but it was a nice ride with Rosie and her man Andrew. So after a long day of bad food and stomach sloshing rides we departed with the beautiful full moon in sight back to chuncheon.

That night we went to a place called Tombstone (another western bar) and shared some laughs and played darts. we were exhausted from the long day but still found ourselves wandering home around 3am to share a bottle of wine and chat. the next day... well.. we relaxed and watched some movies, ate some delicious breakfast and talked... a perfect Sunday afternoon. followed by a great dinner of dakgalbi- which is traditionally a chicken based dish, but i found my way around that and ate the cabbage, noodles, sweet potatoes, and rice cakes that this spicy dish entails... it was soooo good!

Then it was time to go home and back to the reality of my life here in Bugok. My time away this weekend really rejuvenated me and made me feel sort of comfortable again. it was so nice to be able to just fall back into place with someone that i haven't seen in so long.. and know that it will always be like that. I cherish the friends that i have and miss them everyday. I just wish that i had someone a bit closer to make this adventure that much more bearable. Im putting in a request to be transferred... who knows if they can even do this. but I just know that my experience here will not be all it can be if im cooped up in this little town. but i just have to take what i have and make the best of it. :) TIK

teachers class

2009-09-30T10:27:00.000+09:00

so i just finished another wonderful teachers class and found out all sorts of interesting things. like... school is out for winter break on December 30th, but they dont celebrate the regular new year, just the lunar one.. so apparently i don't get that time off unless requested... but, it does mean that i CAN get this time off... just an FYI to those interested.
my teachers class is kind of strange and interesting, it satisfies my hours of teaching, yet... i sit in the break room and drink coffee and mostly listen to my co workers speak Korean. none of them want to participate in the class either, its like pulling teeth and bribing people to join the class with promises of sunshine and basketball....

im starting to plan my lessons for the next month. i think next week, being the week between their thanksgiving and ours, im going to talk about the difference in traditional thanksgiving things. perhaps have them make a menu... learn some thanksgiving vocabulary, make paper turkeys with different words on the wings.. haha who knows. anyways, will be interesting to see if i can come up with something. hopefully i can.
i need to come up with something for the reast of the month though, i have two weeks where i have no ideas.... this is one of the very frustrating things for me here, coming up with ideas for lesson plans that are going to be interesting for the class...

reason # 36 why korea sucks: buses

2009-09-30T00:23:00.001+09:00

So i have been attempting for days to decide what i was going to do for the upcoming holiday cheosuk. so i finally decided that i was going to go and visit my friend rose up north in chuncheon. its a nice city north of Seoul that will provide me with a much needed break and a nice reunion with a great lady after 2 1/2 years!! so i decide that the bus is faster (takes about 4 hours) as opposed to the train (which takes about 5 1/2 hours) because of all the stops. i go onto the bus website all armed with my Korean phrasebook and Google translator, optimistic that it will be easy and ill be able to figure out how to book a ticket.
I arrive on the site and figure out how to input the information for what i want; continue and pick the earliest/cheapest bus at 7am and put my bank info in and my Alien Registration Card (ARC) number. when i finish all of this i click 'ok' and come to a page that Google translator translates into a page with cancellation policy... so how do i know if my ticket is booked?! i go back and see that the seat i selected is still available, which means that either it take s little while for the server to update (Which would cause a lot of problems in my opinion) or it didn't work. through clever deduction (i.e. calling friends and getting their co's to call/calling the KTF- Korean people who help English speakers in korea) we find out it isn't, and i cant book it b.c. my bank card is not linked to my ARC # as i got the card before the ARC...
in other words, i cant book the ticket.

so now. i am stuck in a deliema. I ask my co-teacher if she can help and and she decides that she doesn't want to use her bank card to book for me... which also means... i cant get a ticket. so i ask her to call the bus station and see if i can have someone pick up a ticket there... (since im going from Daegu, i asked one of my friends there to go to the station and get it for me) no dice on this either.. apparently for this weekend the only way you can buy tickets is online....
does this make ANY sense?? seriously.
so now i am sitting at my desk. not sure what i'm going to do this weekend. watching the number of available seats on the bus slowly decrease as the day approaches to leave.
what will i do...
i have a teachers class this afternoon, and i'm hoping to try to discuss the subject of traveling for the holiday with them and possibly express my frustration with the Korean systems... i thought they were supposed to be more tech savvy over here, not more complicated....

later that day.... so the talk worked. and my co teacher who is my age and has thus been dubbed my friend used her card to buy my tickets. she even gave me her ARC card to pick up the tickets. which is kind of awesome. i hope i don't have any problems. we will see.. im getting them to write down as much as possible for me. so here is where i am going... though im not going to Seoul im going a bit north east of it.. couldn't find a picture of a map with it on it.
im going to visit rose.
im really excited by this prospect because hopefully it will help me feel a bit of normalcy again. ive recently lost a little bit of something here... and im not quite sure what it is... a little quiet contemplation (which i have lots and lots of time for) will hopefully bring about more conclusions.
i think i just really miss home. and im starting to loose the whole brand new place feel of this place. even though it sucked. it was still new... now the daunting task of spending a year in this place that is all new is sort of.... hitting me smack in the face. i was told to cheer up today... haha. i try to smile for the students, but sometimes its hard when i don't feel like i'm doing anything for them. i really want them to learn, and to e excited about learning... but when they are running around screaming or completely ignoring me... it doesn't seem like i'm doing my job well... hopefully with time i will master some skills and the children will learn a little bit more respect for me.

Weekend in Seoul

2009-09-29T11:07:00.001+09:00

So last weekend i took a trip to Seoul to see a show called global gathering. Lots of great Drum nd Bass and DJS and lots of fun! I had to ask to leave school early because of an 'apointment' so that i could catch my bus at 430.. which is when im supposed to finish school anyways. i dont feel so bad doing this because i come in on mondays an extra half hour early, so i figure since my contract states im only supposed to work 830-430 i can cut out a few minutes early every once in a while on a friday to go travel. The show was awesome. Lots of dancing and jumping around. we literally made it there the second crystal method was finishing and prodigy was starting. After the show i took a cab ride with my friend Amy to her friend nicole's house in Sujigu. This is in the north east corner of seoul. When we went looking for cabs we found a long line of them and we talking to nicole trying to get the exact place to go, giving the phone to the driver and having her friend who speaks korean translate where we were going. all seemed fine until he started waving his hands at us and rubbing his fingers together... it seemed he wanted money. BUT the meter wasnt running, and we hadnt agreed on a price. So we call the korean speaking person back and he tolld her he wants us to pay 70,000 Won. which... its about the equivelent of 70$. this... seemed quite rediculous to me, since the distance was about the same as from notl to downtown niagara falls,which would cost about 30$ at the most. Anyways, since we were already in the cab we didnt have much of a choice in the matter. so we payed the gradeous amount of money... the cab driver felt that we wanted to still party or something, even though we were falling asleep in the back watching the sun come up, and switched on some strobe lights and dance music... i thought i was being punked, or on that cab game show... but no... so.. being me, put my face into his face and started talking very loudly in english asking him to please stop... i may have thrown in a few choice words, considering the situation he put us in. he turned off the music and lights. its lucky neither of us had epilepsy...

now in my experience of travelling throughout europe, i rarely took a taxi, my feet were there to carry me through the night every single time, no matter how far of a walk it might have been. but, i was always warned about taxi drivers ripping foreigners off when they least expect it. this was my firest experiece with it actually happening. and it kind of took me off guard.
the rest of the weeked faired pretty well.. the next day we slept in and ate pizza and watched amovies. a nice relaxing saturday afternoon. in the evening we headed into the city (a 2,000 won bus ride might i add... thats about 1.50) and went to the 'western district' known as itaewon. walked arounf there for al ittle bit and relished in all of the non korean's. then i went to another busy area, the name escapes me rightnow to meet up with some friends there and headed to a hookah bar. it was pretty neat! they had like tree houses all overthe place, we ended up in a place that was 'underneath' a tree house. but it was pretty awesome. a nice little meditation space filled with lots of pillows and blankets. it was a litel cozy with 10+ people under there, but still really great.
i stayed at a friends house so that i could stay for free and i slept on the floor, the bruises on my hips are still evidence of the wonderful sleep that i got. haha. we got up around 10 and decided to go into the city again and get some food and go to the folk flea market. the most amazing place in the world. im serious. i love this place...so many interesting things to find and look at. i bought myself a guitar, after much deliberation; i decided the 35$ was worth it. ill post a pic soon!

then i got on the bus, almost didnt make it... grabbed some kim bop (korean sushi) and read the rest of my book... home is always nice when you are exhauseted.

Shopping adventure/Bodypainting and a Bus driver

2009-09-16T10:38:00.000+09:00

So, this week was an interesting one. On Tuesday i went to Home Plus with my co-teacher. Home Plus is like the korean version of the UK's tesco... it even says tesco on the side of the building.anyways its 4 floors of glorious goodness and i sincerly wish with all my heart that there was one nearby. its a one-stop shop for everyhting you would ever need, and it would make my life so much easier. Alas, the things that we went there for were basic necessities for my 'apartment' and there seemed to be room for little else. We went in with my co-teachers daughter, who is super cute, and left her sitting at the lotteria... like a mcd's only asian. i thought it a little nerve racking as the child is only 7 years old, but it seemed to be okay, and the attendant said her would look out for her, from what i could gather. so we ran around the store and i am now the proud owner of.. a rice cooker (its lavender on insistence of my co- she didn't like the less expensive orange one), a portable gas stove, a toaster, three pairs of chopsticks and two spoons, a large cutting knife and a small parang knife, some really lovely dishware (pictures to follow) a pot, two frying pans (b.c. the tiny one was free with it), two mugs, a mixing bowl, a cutting board, one tray, and a hotplate. :)
all of these things are wonderful amenities to have when paired with the proper groceries.. but those were not acquired and... there are no stores near me... so i had the tools just not the ingredients. after we finished out shopping spree it was around 8:00 at night and was already pitch black outside... its strange how quickly it gets dark here.. one minute its daylight and the next its night.
so she told me she did not want to drive me home in the dark (its about an hour drive) because she is too tired and i should just stay at her house for the night. well, this was not the most appealing idea to me, but i really had no choice in the matter. it was a strange experience. When i arrived at her house she took me into the bathroom and produced a bag full of toiletries that she had just bought.... somehow... she placed a toothbrush, cup and bath puff on the counter. and told me i was to "shower now" and then she left the room closing the bathroom door behind her. i stood there a little bit confused b.c... in the first place i have nothing to change into once i shower, i showered that morning, and it was just plain strange being told i had to shower at that moment. This is one thing about koreans that i have found quite interesting. haha. they all do things the same way. eveyone conforms to this mould of the way you should live and doesnt question it. Now i may be a little biased since i have only been here for a limited time, but my observations thus far have lead me to this mock-conculsion, which seems to be a pertty accurate depiction of their lives.
Speaking with my co-teacher later that night, (after i turned on the water of the shower for like 5 minutes and brushed my teeth... haha) i found out that a lot of the older generation feels pressure to maintain a certain way of life. a pure-blood existence in which stability and conformity are the normal ways of life. she expressed to me her disinterest in this type of thinking, even though it is part of her generation. she also expressed how her belief that was in Canada there is no discrimination between races and race mixing is a very popular thing to do. (her words) i tried to think about this for a little bit and wondered how to answer this statement. true, Canada is a place where many cultures co-exist, but does anyone live in a place where discrimination does truly not exist? if there is such a place i would love to know about it. discrimination can come in the smallest form and doesn't always have to do with race. look at a school, where kids who do not have a certain haircut, or listen to a certain type of music, or wear a certain brand name.. regardless of race they are discriminated against; perhaps not the most astute observation, but one nonetheless. do i think that people are more likely to be married to someone that is not on their exact background in Canada... well yes, Canada is a place that is filled with people from all different backgrounds and cultures and so this would be kind of an insane notion to think of. Korea on the other hand.. well... mainly full of Koreans. the other foreigners you do see are usually stared at as they pass by and not regarded as a part of their society, even though they could have been living there for more than 10 years.
anyways, that was my rant about that. and im tired now so i guess i will have to finish the story of the bodypainting and bus driver another time.
happy reading everyone.

My Address

2009-09-15T16:18:00.000+09:00

for those of you paitently waiting...
her is my addres so you can send me mail..
its backwards.. so i think to avoid confustion at the korean post i think its best to write it this way??im having mail sent to my school since most places wont know how to read english... including the motel i live at and then the package/letter will not get to me! so here ya go:

South Korea
635-893
Gyeong-nam, Chang-nyeong
Bugok-Myeon
Bugok Middle School
Bryn Lepp

Podunk - beginnings

2009-09-01T10:17:00.000+09:00

so yesterday was my first day at my new school. It was quite the experience.i didn't sleep at all the night before due to the trepidation that i felt. what had i gotten myself into. me? educate children? are you sure that's wise...>_<>well i started this post last week on my second day of school, and i hope to finish it today on my first day of my second week of school. i haven't had a class yet, and its almost noon, i should start my first class at 1:30pm. i have Monday mornings off, but have to arrive at school at 830. it looks like next week i will be starting an 'after school class' at 8am.
things have been really interesting here so far. i have gone through such a range of emotions its really hard for me to explain how i feel about whats going on.
First of all, teaching children is... really hard. there is so much to think about and to do. if you really care about what you are teaching that is. its really easy to fall into the whole, "lets watch a video and answer questions about it" method of teaching, but that isn't really interacting with the class at all.
My students are pretty cute. some of them are really well behaved and you can tell they are studious and want to learn. there are others in my class (mostly boys) who are misbehaved and end up kneeling at the front of the room for the whole class on the insistence of my co-teacher. One of the biggest things i have difficulty with is the punishment system. they are a bit behind here and still hit the children. I was warned about this before i began my trip to korea (thanks Ash) but it still surprised me. In my school there is a 'discipline' teacher. one man, who, in the office marks himself as a comedian, carries around a wooden bamboo stick and goes whacks children who misbehave or get out of line. This upsets me a little bit but outside of my classroom i don't feel as though it is my place to say anything. One of my co-teachers also has her own stick but has refrained from using it in my class.. she uses an open fist instead. haha. which still really surprises me.
the kids dont seem to think it out of the ordinary or anything though, and this method seems to only be reserved for the older more misbehaved and disrespectful children.
My daily life is fairly boring as i live in a really small town that is basically a very visitor centered town, that at one time may have been very popular tourist destination but is now resembles somewhat of an abandoned city. Walking down the 'main street' there are many many restaurants tables low to the ground that look as though they were made to fit large groups. As you walk by the women that work there rush to the door in their slippered feet making nary a noise and greet you as though you were a familiar face. A tactic to entice you to get into their barren restaurant. Each table is a reminder of what used to be, their smiles reek of the desperation and thin strings they are on.
As you continue walking you start to notice that every once in a while is a blackened doorway that still carries the sign and all of its insides. the tables covered in dust, a stove pushed up against the front of the window to deter thieves from entering the once popular establishment.
it fills me with a kind of sadness looking at the run down businesses owned by local shopkeepers who moved here to try and take advantage of the booming tourism, just a minute too late...
My housing holds much of this sentiment. I am living in a motel that overlooks this quiet street. I just moved into a bigger room on Saturday that has a sink, and hopefully tomorrow night i will be going to get some cooking utensils and a gas hotplate (its what everyone uses here), and FOOD!!! i am in desperate need of some sheets. i didn't bring any/ or a blanket from home. so i'm suffering with this matress cover/synthetic sheet that they have provided me with. its really not pleasant and i hope a trip to the city with quicKly remedy that; but im not so sure. I will post a pic of it when i take one... i haven't yet.. i need some pictures to put on the walls to make it feel more homey.. right now i still feel like i'm living in a motel.

so my classes are kind of stressful im teaching gr 1-9 as well as teachers classes and afterschool mixed classes. the afterschool classes shouldnt be too difficult, i think im just going to try to review things with them, see if they had any questions... do a bit more of conversational learning, since there will only be about 5-7 students in each class.. i would like to make it a bit more like a study hall kind of program that they are able to ask questions and get help with their english work from me. im preparing lessons on pop culture and music that it hink they will like. i may even include a sitcom program for a few weeks, or at the beginning of each class we can watch 10 minutes of a show we choose; i want to do friends or like, America's next top model or gossip girl.. something that i like. haha.
anyways, my class is about to start but ill update this post later with some pictures and a bit more about school and friends.

2009-08-29T22:00:00.000+09:00

We are driving through the countryside of South korea in a place that still seems vaugly familiar, the mountains loom ominous over my head as I sit, a.c. still buzzing over my head, an American film playing on the screen, the difference, the blue roofed houses littering the landscape, each one a rememberance of a place that kept the villages safe from intruders. The deep valleys house some of the largest vities in all of korea.

WE have just left orientation and I am faced with moving forward and creating my life here. I thought I would have a lot more creativity running through my veins at this moment, the moment when everything is finally coming to fruition but it seems that my mind and body have become numb, I will not face what is a head of me until I am put right in front of it and told that there is no other way but forward.

Each of the mountains are covered in coniferous vegetation. Its not the rockies but the swells do remind me of home. I breathe in and wish to escape the confines of my chair in order to become a part of this little world within the mountains.

I miss home. A lot.

But at the same time, it is something that I am okay with not having. The consistency, the ability to know people

Danny Schmidt whispers in my ear

{Self interest is divine

Don’t ask god Just hollar at the sky cos she'll tell it to you gently in the clouds that whisper by.

There were words around the band that said just know this too shall pass… )

The indecision that haunts my mind, I know, will somehow bring peace. And calm my unquiet heart from the yearning that it feels so deeply.

the beginning of something new

2009-08-24T21:09:00.000+09:00

I am sitting in a dorm room on the 13th floor of Jeonju University in Jeonju city, South Korea. as i stare at the blank walls of my shared dorm room i am hit with a sense of recognition. i recognize this place. i have been here before. why is it so familiar? did i ever intend to return?
the air conditioner hums above my head as i contemplate these things in silence and look at my barely dressed desk covered in loose leaf papers, binders filled with notes and text books bearing titles like " Experience and Suggestions" "Co-operative learning/a student centered approach" and "The theory and practice of listening learning." i am displaced into a scenario i have lived once or twice before. My experiences have brought me here with a different mind set, something to wonder as to how, and why i got here. i am meloncholy thinking these things, my mind wanders and i surf the web.
i wasnt sure i came here to get away, or what exactly i was getting away from. i have come for an adventure, a place to learn, and allow my heart, mind and soul to be quiet for just a little bit... then why, have i never felt more unquiet in all of my life.
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