Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Cheer 09

So, as expected this Christmas was a very different and emotionally challenging one for me. Its hard to experience something in a country where it doesn't exist. In Korea, Christmas really doesn't exist. even though out of the 54.5% of Koreans that declare religious affiliation, 29.3% of them are Christians. (the only thing coming close is Buddhism at 22.8% the other 2.4% are various alternative religions ). The way that Koreans celebrate Christmas seems to be the way that they do everything in this country, including getting married... most of it is for show. They have the trees and a few lights up on the main streets, some signs in the large department stores and the kids yelling "oh santa" when they see an image of good old st. nick. But the meaning of christmas is completely lost. the idea of getting together with family and/or loved ones is not something that they see as a necessity at this time of year. That is the thing im missing most this year. Its very challenging for me to be away from my family, in this place that doesn't feel, look or act like a holiday is coming up. Again, its a Confucius country, so i was aware that these things wouldn't be as prevalent as they were at home, but even the feeling you get. the warmth in your heart, the smile you get as you hear christmas carolers or see children running in the snow laughing... its just not as accessible here. luckily i have great family  and friends and i was bombarded thoughtful, loving notes, cards and gifts to help me get through, even though i ' actually able to be there to squeeze everyone with love... 

I had the privilege of attending a wedding on Christmas day in Busan. I did not know the couple getting married, but the idea of getting married Christmas day seemed a romantic notion to me and i was more than willing to witness a Korean wedding (which i had heard about. a lot of 'for show' production) and i was not disappointed. It seemed as though the man and woman had barely met. they walked stiffly down the isle, and then back up it and down it a third, and fourth time.. each time the photographer following them; hoping to get the perfect photograph. The whole room was packed with people. people standing, sitting, walking around, talking laughing, eating.... no one seemed to be paying any attention at all. Coming from a western world, where at a wedding we sit and watch the bride and groom say their vows and dedicate themselves to each other i found this quite strange. Where we see marriage as a thing of beauty, that is found in love, and commitment, it seems that often times in korea marriage is something out of necessity. Im not saying this is all bad. it is part of their culture, and in some cases love can be found with each other after the necessity is met; or through the necessity. The brides dress was beautiful, even though she looked like she was scared half to death of the stranger standing beside her at the alter. They then proceeded to take pictures with different groups of people. the male teachers students came up and sang him a song, laughing the whole way through, which i thought was really cute. The inclusion of ones students in a teachers wedding is very common in korea, and most would take offense if their class did not attend. 
In any case, it was a wonderful day. we ended off the afternoon with a lovely trip down to the fish yard (sounds romantic doesn't it) haha. but at the fish market on the first floor you can buy fish and on the second floor you can eat it, fresh. they have chefs that buy the fish right there and cut it up for sashimi for you!! so great!  it was the most delicious meal ever and a WONDERFUL christmas dinner!! 



Monday, December 7, 2009

But why....

So, i have been trying to keep this blog lighthearted and kind. however, i think the time has come when we need to lay out some truths about Korea. i have had enough inconsiderate mindless people ruining my day, and this is the time to air those grievances.
i have been given an amazing opportunity by coming here. i am truly blessed to be able to have experienced a different culture first hand not once, but three times in my life. These are invaluable experiences that i will cherish forever, and i am sure some of the people i meet here will be with me forever. i know my time spent in Holland changed the way that i did some things and am able to still keep those some important ideals and habits that i learned while i was there. 
however, there doesn't seem to be many ideals or behaviors that i would want or need to pick up from Koreans.
this past week i was victim to one of their many self serving behaviors that really don't compute to the average person. I have a hard time fitting in in my elementary school. its not for lack of trying. the teachers just dont seem to enjoy being around me. yes they are polite and will ask what my plans are for the weekend. the gr 6 teacher even smiles and waves at me when i enter the school. i thought i had made some headway when she started to try to speak a little english to me and ask me how she can get better so we can talk. however, all of this was dashed last week Friday. it was a regular day, no one pays attention to the white girl sitting in the English room. the room was getting a little stuffy and the sun was shining so i stood up to go and stand by the window that i had opened a crack and get some sunshine on my face. Much to my surprise i see the gr 6 class (that i was supposed to be teaching at that moment, but failed to show up) and all of the teachers standing outside getting their pictures taken. since its yearbook/graduation time i figured thats what it was for. I have to admit i was a bit surprised when i saw this, b.c. all of the teachers were involved, yet... no one had bothered to come and get me. am i not a teacher? do i not belong? so i walked downstairs only slightly bothered by this notion to get a coffee. as i passed by the door all of the teachers had lined up in front of it. one of the teachers turned around and offered a friendly "hi bryn" to me. i waved at her. it was then that another teacher turned around and said "teacher photo for yearbook, go away"  i stood there astonished for a moment. unsure if i should run away crying or lunge at the throat of said teacher. then all of them turned around and looked at me and shooed me away on me saying "you are in way" i retired to my room, completely forgetting about the coffee and allowed myself to give into the sorrow of this situation. 
It was s ad dark day for me and one i wont forget. how could they be so thoughtless? do they not realize that i am in a foreign country here, and if they were in my country i feel certain that i would do my best to include them in things even to the point of being annoying, not try to ignore them and make them feel unwanted. i wonder if they realize what its like being from somewhere else in this horrid little town; away from the people i know, away from my family, my friends... and i may need a little bit of kindness...  everyday i struggle with this thought. 
so. that being said. things here aren't always peachy, in fact sometimes they down right suck. but when you look at life, its not going to be the negative things to remember, it will be the positive experiences you gain from these emotional breakdowns. the positive people that enter your life and bring a huge change. I am excited everyday as well. excited for the new adventure that this country will bring me. and how the things that are happening now are really minute in the journey towards my superlative goals! 
So i will continue to tolerate this behavior, if not trying to teach them a more considerate way of living. sometimes i observe these people and understand the differences and sometimes its more difficult. today was one of these days....