Podunk - beginnings

so yesterday was my first day at my new school. It was quite the experience.i didn't sleep at all the night before due to the trepidation that i felt. what had i gotten myself into. me? educate children? are you sure that's wise...>_<>well i started this post last week on my second day of school, and i hope to finish it today on my first day of my second week of school. i haven't had a class yet, and its almost noon, i should start my first class at 1:30pm. i have Monday mornings off, but have to arrive at school at 830. it looks like next week i will be starting an 'after school class' at 8am.
things have been really interesting here so far. i have gone through such a range of emotions its really hard for me to explain how i feel about whats going on.
First of all, teaching children is... really hard. there is so much to think about and to do. if you really care about what you are teaching that is. its really easy to fall into the whole, "lets watch a video and answer questions about it" method of teaching, but that isn't really interacting with the class at all.
My students are pretty cute. some of them are really well behaved and you can tell they are studious and want to learn. there are others in my class (mostly boys) who are misbehaved and end up kneeling at the front of the room for the whole class on the insistence of my co-teacher. One of the biggest things i have difficulty with is the punishment system. they are a bit behind here and still hit the children. I was warned about this before i began my trip to korea (thanks Ash) but it still surprised me. In my school there is a 'discipline' teacher. one man, who, in the office marks himself as a comedian, carries around a wooden bamboo stick and goes whacks children who misbehave or get out of line. This upsets me a little bit but outside of my classroom i don't feel as though it is my place to say anything. One of my co-teachers also has her own stick but has refrained from using it in my class.. she uses an open fist instead. haha. which still really surprises me.
the kids dont seem to think it out of the ordinary or anything though, and this method seems to only be reserved for the older more misbehaved and disrespectful children.
My daily life is fairly boring as i live in a really small town that is basically a very visitor centered town, that at one time may have been very popular tourist destination but is now resembles somewhat of an abandoned city. Walking down the 'main street' there are many many restaurants tables low to the ground that look as though they were made to fit large groups. As you walk by the women that work there rush to the door in their slippered feet making nary a noise and greet you as though you were a familiar face. A tactic to entice you to get into their barren restaurant. Each table is a reminder of what used to be, their smiles reek of the desperation and thin strings they are on.
As you continue walking you start to notice that every once in a while is a blackened doorway that still carries the sign and all of its insides. the tables covered in dust, a stove pushed up against the front of the window to deter thieves from entering the once popular establishment.
it fills me with a kind of sadness looking at the run down businesses owned by local shopkeepers who moved here to try and take advantage of the booming tourism, just a minute too late...
My housing holds much of this sentiment. I am living in a motel that overlooks this quiet street. I just moved into a bigger room on Saturday that has a sink, and hopefully tomorrow night i will be going to get some cooking utensils and a gas hotplate (its what everyone uses here), and FOOD!!! i am in desperate need of some sheets. i didn't bring any/ or a blanket from home. so i'm suffering with this matress cover/synthetic sheet that they have provided me with. its really not pleasant and i hope a trip to the city with quicKly remedy that; but im not so sure. I will post a pic of it when i take one... i haven't yet.. i need some pictures to put on the walls to make it feel more homey.. right now i still feel like i'm living in a motel.



so my classes are kind of stressful im teaching gr 1-9 as well as teachers classes and afterschool mixed classes. the afterschool classes shouldnt be too difficult, i think im just going to try to review things with them, see if they had any questions... do a bit more of conversational learning, since there will only be about 5-7 students in each class.. i would like to make it a bit more like a study hall kind of program that they are able to ask questions and get help with their english work from me. im preparing lessons on pop culture and music that it hink they will like. i may even include a sitcom program for a few weeks, or at the beginning of each class we can watch 10 minutes of a show we choose; i want to do friends or like, America's next top model or gossip girl.. something that i like. haha.
anyways, my class is about to start but ill update this post later with some pictures and a bit more about school and friends.

We are driving through the countryside of South korea in a place that still seems vaugly familiar, the mountains loom ominous over my head as I sit, a.c. still buzzing over my head, an American film playing on the screen, the difference, the blue roofed houses littering the landscape, each one a rememberance of a place that kept the villages safe from intruders. The deep valleys house some of the largest vities in all of korea.

WE have just left orientation and I am faced with moving forward and creating my life here. I thought I would have a lot more creativity running through my veins at this moment, the moment when everything is finally coming to fruition but it seems that my mind and body have become numb, I will not face what is a head of me until I am put right in front of it and told that there is no other way but forward.

Each of the mountains are covered in coniferous vegetation. Its not the rockies but the swells do remind me of home. I breathe in and wish to escape the confines of my chair in order to become a part of this little world within the mountains.

I miss home. A lot.

But at the same time, it is something that I am okay with not having. The consistency, the ability to know people

Danny Schmidt whispers in my ear

{Self interest is divine

Don’t ask god Just hollar at the sky cos she'll tell it to you gently in the clouds that whisper by.

There were words around the band that said just know this too shall pass… )

The indecision that haunts my mind, I know, will somehow bring peace. And calm my unquiet heart from the yearning that it feels so deeply.

the beginning of something new

I am sitting in a dorm room on the 13th floor of Jeonju University in Jeonju city, South Korea. as i stare at the blank walls of my shared dorm room i am hit with a sense of recognition. i recognize this place. i have been here before. why is it so familiar? did i ever intend to return?
the air conditioner hums above my head as i contemplate these things in silence and look at my barely dressed desk covered in loose leaf papers, binders filled with notes and text books bearing titles like " Experience and Suggestions" "Co-operative learning/a student centered approach" and "The theory and practice of listening learning." i am displaced into a scenario i have lived once or twice before. My experiences have brought me here with a different mind set, something to wonder as to how, and why i got here. i am meloncholy thinking these things, my mind wanders and i surf the web.
i wasnt sure i came here to get away, or what exactly i was getting away from. i have come for an adventure, a place to learn, and allow my heart, mind and soul to be quiet for just a little bit... then why, have i never felt more unquiet in all of my life.
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